Top 10 Weirdest "False Friends" in German – Beware the Linguistic Traps!

Ah, German. So logical, so precise… and then comes the moment when you say, “I’m becoming a chef” and every German stares at you like you just confessed to turning into Gordon Ramsay mid-episode. Yes, welcome to the world of false friends – those words that look just like English but mean something completely different. These words can be humorous, embarrassing, or even dark. Let’s dive in.

1️⃣ Chef

• What you think it means: Someone who cooks.

• another image for the false friends word 'Mist'

• What it actually means: Your boss.

  You cheerfully announce in German, „Ich werde Chef!“ thinking you’re saying “I’m becoming a chef,” but really you’re saying “I’m becoming the boss.” Gordon Ramsay approves.

2️⃣ Gift

• What you think it means: A lovely present wrapped with a bow.

• What it actually means: Poison.

• Example:

  „Ich habe ein Gift für dich.“ = “I have some poison for you.” Perfect for that one coworker who keeps stealing your stapler. (Just kidding… mostly.)

  
  

3️⃣ Rat

• What you think it means: That sneaky little rodent.

• What it actually means: Advice.

• Example:

  „Darf ich dir einen Rat geben?“ = “May I give you some advice?” Not, “May I gift you a rodent.” Unless you’re into that.

4️⃣ Handy

• What you think it means: Convenient, useful.

• What it actually means: Cellphone.

• Example:

  Germans might say, „Ich habe mein Handy vergessen!“ and no, they don’t mean they left their Swiss Army Knife at home.

5️⃣ Smoking

• What you think it means: Puffing away on a cigarette.

• What it actually means: A tuxedo.

• Example:

  Imagine showing up to a wedding reception and saying: „Ich trage heute Smoking.“ You’re just classy, not chain-smoking at the buffet.

6️⃣ Bald

• What you think it means: Without hair.

• What it actually means: Soon.

• Example:

  „Ich komme bald.“ = “I’ll be there soon.” Not “I’m going bald.” But hey, both could be true.

7️⃣ Chefkoch

• What you think it means: The boss of all bosses.

• What it actually means: Head chef.

• Example:

  Technically this does mean “chef,” but imagine you walk in and say, “I want to talk to the Chef,” and get introduced to the restaurant’s sous-chef. It's an enigma of the culinary hierarchy.

8️⃣ Blenden

• What you think it means: To blend, like in a smoothie.

• What it actually means: To dazzle or blind.

• Example:

  „Sein Lächeln blendet mich.“ = “His smile blinds me.” Not “His smile makes a smoothie of me.” Unless you’re really into him.

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9️⃣ See

• What you think it means: To see something with your eyes.

• What it actually means: Lake.

• Example:

  „Ich gehe an den See.“ = “I’m going to the lake.” You are not about to observe some abstract concept of existence.

🔟 Mist

• What you think it means: A light fog or gentle morning dew.

• What it actually means: Manure. Crap. Literally.

• Example:

  „So ein Mist!“ = “What a load of crap!” Not “Ah, such a lovely mist.” Perfect for Monday mornings.

  
  

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So there you have it: the top 10 weirdest (and funniest) German false friends. They might trick you, confuse you, or even get you a weird look from your German colleagues, but hey – learning these is half the fun. And if anyone hands you a “Gift” while wearing a “Smoking,” just smile and hope for the best. 😉

Viel Spaß beim Lernen, and don’t drink the Gift!